I know the entire season has been released already, but I’ve got to get through a recipe in order to earn an episode, so my Bridgerton binging moves at a glacial pace. To pair with episode 3 “Forces of Nature”, I opted for a tea sandwich recipe from the Official Bridgerton Guide to Entertaining (because what sounds more Bridgerton than tea sandwiches?) For more info on the cookbook itself, check out this blog post. I’d warn you about spoilers, but at this point, you know more than I do.

Episode Recap: Forces of Nature

In true fairy tale fashion, one kiss from Penelope has cast a spell over Colin and he is suddenly consumed with not so friendly thoughts of Pen. We get a dramatic revelation from him and a passionate kiss between them which turns out be Colin’s dream. I will admit I’m enjoying that he is finally starting to suffer a bit.

We move to Casa Bridgerton, where many topics are up for discussion including hot balloons and Francesca “no fucks to give” Bridgerton’s marriage aspirations. Meanwhile, Colin makes unnecessary protestations that he slept the best sleep of his life with absolutely no sexy time disturbances and how Penelope is a family acquaintance. Benedict asks him if he’s all right and looks at him like he grew a third eyeball. We get more side plots I don’t really care about including the Queen’s interest in Francesca and Lady Danbury’s angst at her upcoming guest. We move to the Featherington’s, where Pen gets a visit from Eloise. Hope blooms that Eloise won’t be an asshole. It dies quickly. Eloise says:

“It is not pleasant to have Whistledown write about oneself, is it?”

Oh, fuck right off.
Eloise explains that it’s likely her fault the rumor about Pen and Colin spread and states it wasn’t intentional. Pen asks if Eloise would like to come in and of course, Eloise cuts her off and says she’s meeting a friend. Eloise is always so disappointing. I need to stop expecting her to be more emotionally intelligent than actually she is.

We are at the park. Again. Colin and Pen share a moment under a weeping willow, which apparently acts as some sort of magic shield, where gossipers can’t see them standing alone together. Now that Colin actually wants to bang Penelope, he’s more awkward than she is, so this exchange gives off middle school dance vibes. Pen points out they can’t continue their lessons, and Colin has no choice but to go along with it, even though he clearly wanted to “teach” her.

Penelope thanks him for his kindness, then says, “If I secure a proposal, it will be because of you.” Ouch. I can hear the thud Colin’s heart makes as it drops in his chest. This guy is regretting all his life choices right about now.

Another ball. Because that’s all we do besides walk in the park. And drink tea. We see how awful Cressida’s family is and how desperate she is to get hitched. I can feel Bridgerton pushing the idea that Cressida and Penelope are two sides of the same coin. Can someone mention the concept of subtlety to the writers? Anyone? Francesca “no fucks to give” Bridgerton has the plot that refuses to take a backseat. She’s ready to take any suitor the Queen presents just to have to stop going to these shindigs and I 100% feel her on this. Pen attempts to be normal and talk to some guys blander than plain yogurt. They insult her, so she returns to the corner to hold up the wall. More side plots I don’t care about – this time with the Mondrichs. Who is this season supposed to be about again? Debling wanders over to Pen’ s hiding place where she welcomes him, saying, “typically only abject failures and social outcasts are allowed.” They get into a discussion about Pen’s pity party and she explains to Lord “I don’t read Lady Whistledown” Debling about her arrangement with Colin. As the most likeable character in this season, Lord Debling is unbothered by Penelope’s frankness and admires her wit. Someone remind me that I’m not supposed to want her to end up with this guy.

We’re at the park, but this time there is a hot air balloon. Cressida has zeroed in on Lord Debling as her best chance to get married off and discusses this as she walks with Eloise. She finally gives Eloise a reality check by pointing out that not everyone has family as supportive as the Bridgertons and marriage may be Cressida’s only chance at that. Between Pen and Cressida, how does Eloise not see how privileged she is? I swear Eloise wins the award for the most poorly written character.

So back to the hot air balloon–that’s right, we’re here for a hot air balloon launch. Out in my neck of the woods, they’re actually a big thing. I’ve had them swooping low down my road and freaking out all of the neighborhood dogs. While they haven’t crashed in my yard (yet) I know people who had them crash in theirs more than once. Maybe it’s just that things always seem to happen to me in the worst (and most comical) ways, but I can’t imagine putting my life completely in the hands of wind and good wishes. Anyway, Colin and Penelope end up in a pastry tent together (best kind of tent) and somehow no one ever notices how frequently they are together with no siblings or family to be found. Pen reveals that Lord Debling has shown an interest and Colin is clearly still regretting his choices. Pen decides to buy a creamy pastry and Colin nearly passes out watching her lick some sugar from her fingers. She was there the whole damn time, my dude. He has earned this suffering.

Debling chats with Eloise and Cressida, while Cressida tries to win him over and Eloise does her best to help. Debling reveals that he too has a shitty family he prefers to stay away from, making him a damn good match for both Cressida and Pen. He calls Pen over, and she tries to make conversation, but with Cressida and Eloise there, she reverts to her bumbling awkward self and the cringe is palpable. Meanwhile, Benedict meets a very modern thinking woman interested in air balloons and attempts to flirt with her. This is totally not going to end up in yeat another damn subplot. Francesa “no fucks to give” Bridgerton is back again and stuck hanging out with the Queen’s choice of suitor whose sideburns need their own episode.

In the slowest, most un-action-like, action sequence in the history of recorded content, the hot air balloon comes loose and heads right for Penelope who has somehow forgotten how to run, walk, (or even crawl) sideways. Colin jumps in to hold the balloon ropes and keep it from crashing into Pen, while the other hottie menfolk join him, biceps straining. Meanwhile Debling jumps in to put himself between Penelope and the leisurely runaway balloon. After the danger has passed, Cressida who actually was able to slowly sidle away from the aforementioned balloon, fakes an injury to steal away Debling’s attention from Pen.

Now we cut to our other pastime – balls, get your mind out of the gutter–you know the ones I mean. Now, one thing Bridgerton does so well is take modern music and turn it into a period bop. The strings playing Cheap Thrills by Sia is giving me life right now. The subtext of the lyrics “I don’t need no dollar bills to have fun tonight” is fabulous as we watch these people spend so much money to be miserable. The Bridgertons exit their carriage and Mama Bridgerton drops her handkerchief. It’s picked up by Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome and they share a look. I think back in the day, this is like giving someone your number. Looks like Violet’s garden might get some hoe-ing (if you know, you know).

The usual suspects are in attendance and Pen and Cressida race to reach Lord Debling first. Cressida with her very long legs, of course wins so Pen sighs and returns to her wallflower spot. We are back with Francesca “no fucks to give” Bridgerton who nearly passes out when Sideburns Suitor says he wants eight kids. She practically runs away and it’s clear she wants a break from this ball the way I want a break from her storyline. Tall Dark and Handsome finds Mama Bridgerton and they chat when Lady Danbury interrupts to introduce her brother. Mama Bridgerton is very very flustered. And this is the only non Polin subplot I care about. Francesca has run outside and discovers a pilgrim soul who also just wants out of that ballroom and to stand in silence. Benedict runs into the hot air balloon lady. Turns out she’s a widow and they share some witty banter and we now have subplot 182. Can we please, please, please focus on Polin? Please? For the love of god, there will be other seasons. Save a story for them.

Pen decides to get up her courage and talk to Lord Debling and apologize for her failed attempt at flirting during the great hot air balloon fiasco, where she lied about her love of grass (the green kind, not the kind you smoke) And once again, Lord Debling is understanding and thoughtful in response. Why is it the one person we are supposed to root against is the most likeable? Why? Who is writing this? Colin talks to his mom about love and she tells how rare and special it is to start as friends and for that to turn into a great passionate love –unlike the other Bridgertons, Violet knows her baby is in love with a certain ginger and needs to get his shit together and do something about it.

Colin heads over to Pen, motivated by his mommy’s pep talk. As he’s about to say something to her, Lord Debling interrupts for a dance. And finally we get a decent scene in this episode – the best by far. Colin watches Pen and Debling dance while our latest modern retro string cover play Billie Eilish “Happier Than Ever”. In my head I can hear lyrics like “I could talk about every time that you showed up on time But I’d have an empty line ’cause you never did,” and you can see both jealousy and devastation on Colin’s face. Boom goes the dynamite.

Now my thoughts on this episode – How many plots do we need in one episode or even one season? Seriously? Penelope is goddamn Lady Whistledown herself, her love story should be front and center. Instead we have every person who ever spent 5 minutes on the show, beginning their own convoluted storylines. I’d really love to write some shorter recaps, but I got 18,000 stories to summarize. This episode’s writing is so underwhelming – who the hell thought that air balloon scene would be exciting? Was there no runaway cart or horse or anything that could remotely up the stakes? Pen and Colin’s acting is really the only bright spot in an episode full of way too much hot air. (Forgive the pun.)

What did you think about episode 3?
Did you also get distracted by all the subplots, or did you find them interesting?
Am I the only one who thought the runaway hot air balloon was ridiculous?

recipes

I feel like a tea sandwich is a requirement for a Bridgerton themed cookbook. There were three options in the “Assorted Tea Sandwiches” recipe, which included “Cucumber and Radish with Chaat Masala Whipped Butter” and “Smoked Salmon with Cilantro and Peanut Chutney”, but I opted for the “Curried Chicken Salad” because it sounded the most versatile for leftovers.

In true Bridgerton fashion, we’ll give these a diamond rating:

Curried Chicken Salad from Assorted Tea Sandwiches

from Chapter 3: Afternoon Tea with the Sharmas

Ingredients:

• 2 bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts (about ½ pounds) – had to substitute boneless, skinless chicken breasts: $3.35
• 1 ½ teaspoons unrefined virgin coconut oil
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1/3 cup mayonnaise
• 1/3 cup whole milk thick Indian style yogurt (needed to follow the cook’s note substitution): .99
• 3 Tbsp spicy or hot mango chutney: $3.99
• 1 Tbsp + 1 tsp Madras Curry powder: $3.49
• ½ cup diced celery: $1.88
• 1/3 cup sliced green onion
• ¼ cup coarsely chopped salted cashews: $7.98
• ½ cup small seedless black grapes, quartered: $3.30
• 16 thin fruit and nut sandwich bread slices (or substitute thinly sliced brioche), crusts removed.

Total Cost for purchased ingredients: $24.98

I went to 3 different stores to attempt to find all the ingredients I didn’t already have in my pantry. I couldn’t find the Indian style yogurt, but there was a cook’s note that we could substitute equal parts plain Greek yogurt and plain American style yogurt. I always keep Greek yogurt on hand, so I just picked up the smallest plain yogurt container I could find. To my surprise, I was able to hunt down the mango chutney and it happened to be on sale. The one item I couldn’t find was the bone-in chicken breasts. I don’t know if that’s more common elsewhere, but I ended up just substituting boneless skinless chicken breasts. The recipe does offer the option to use rotisserie chicken, but I thought it would be closer to the original to use fresh chicken. I was also curious about the directions to coat it in coconut oil to roast it. I also accidentally read the ingredient list wrong and bought unsalted cashews, so I just tossed a little extra salt in for good measure.

Because I used a different type of chicken, I adjusted the cooking time accordingly, but I still followed the directions to coat it in coconut oil and roast it. While the chicken was still warm, I tossed it into my stand mixer to shred it, then put it in the fridge to cool while I chopped ingredients and mixed the sauce. Once the chicken had cooled down enough, I put the bowl back on the stand mixer, added the sauce and let the mixer do the work, then stirred in the remaining ingredients. Now we have our curried chicken salad.

The directions called for fruit and nut bread with the crust cut off. I happen to have purchased Costco’s new apple nut bread, so I did my best to cut it thin and remove the crust, but it was not as dainty as I would have liked.

the Verdict

This recipe was delicious. It tasted like Chicken Korma but in a cold spreadable form (and I mean that in a good way). It had a lovely spice level, with just a bit of heat, that wasn’t overpowering and didn’t compete with the other flavors. It was relatively easy to put together, can be made in advance, and would be a really interesting offering to add to a brunch menu, or for a potluck. For those who enjoy Indian flavors, this is a great option for you.

There are a couple reasons I gave it only 4 diamonds, instead of 5. The fruit and nut bread is where the recipe stumbles a little. The nuts and the denseness work well with the thick chicken mixture, but the additional flavors you typically find in these types of bread (like cinnamon) compete with the complexity of the curried salad. They offer a brioche as another option, but I think this salad pairs better with a chewier bread. I’d go with something like a pumpernickel or even a rye to make the little crustless sandwiches. I ended up eating this during the week on bagels and it was amazing that way. For a less formal tea party, you could serve the salad on mini bagels, or those itty-bitty naan dippers for a better flavor pairing.

The other issue I found was with the bone-in chicken breast that you roast. It feels like an unnecessary choice. I think boiling boneless chicken breast is a much more accessible and logical option for the salad. While roasting could theoretically add more flavor, there are such strong spices in this recipe, you won’t taste the subtle roasting or the coconut oil. By boiling you’ll retain more moisture which in my opinion, is much better in chicken salads and dips.

Overall, this recipe is a winner and I could see myself making it again. I really wish more of the recipes in the book were similar to it. While it still had some hard-to-find ingredients, there were some easy substitutions, and everything went well together.

Have you ever tried a curried chicken salad?
If so, what did you think?
If not, would you like to?