I know everyone else has binged the first half of the season already, but I am slowly savoring the episodes and hunting down random things from the grocery store. For episode 2, I kept it simple and picked out one recipe from the Official Bridgerton Guide to Entertaining to pair with episode 3.2 “How Bright the Moon”. For more info on the cookbook itself, check out this blog post. Be forewarned, there are spoilers ahead (although at this point you’re more likely to spoil me).

Episode Recap: How Bright the Moon

This episode really should have been titled “The Heartbreak of Penelope Featherington”. Imagine, gentle reader, you spend years pining for someone. You know it’s impossible they’d reciprocate your feelings, so your only option is friendship. You take it, of course, because when you love someone, a little piece of them is better than nothing at all. Now, imagine they offer to help you find someone else. I know this is a rom-com trope but think about this. Really think about this. Can you imagine how much that must hurt? The knife of unreciprocated longing with that painful twist that your beloved truly wants to see you with someone else? Penelope is so desperate to escape her terrible family, that she’s chosen to watch the man she’s loved nearly her whole life, work very hard to help her find someone who could actually imagine marrying her. This is where we’re starting folks, and it only gets worse from here.

We have our numerous subplots: the Queen’s need to get one over on Lady Whistledown, the Mondrichs with their new giant estate, Eloise’s angst, the Featheringtons’ precarious financial situation, and Francesca’s quest for a suitor – but these aren’t the main event. Colin and Pen are out in the park and there’s a discussion about Lady Whistledown, with Colin saying they’ll dance on the day of Whistledown’s demise. This is clearly not just to ratchet up the stakes for later down the line. Nope, not at all. Colin wants Pen to show her “skills” and Pen responds that she has none. (Same girl, same.) He introduces her to some gentlemen and poor girl can’t keep it together. She is waving her fan fast enough to start a brush fire and giggling randomly. Pen ends up feeling defeated.

While Penelope’s married sisters know next to nothing about sex, we get to see that Colin on the other hand, has been studying up. A threesome with hookers. Yeah, that’s a great way to endear him to us. Tell me again why we shouldn’t root for Lord Debling? Or anyone else? How about we get a Victorian era Golden Girls, where Cressida, Eloise and Penelope all live together and bicker over tea cakes (in lieu of cheesecake)? Anyone else on board?

We get our next glimpse into Pen’s current state of sadness when Colin asks her what the one thing in the world that makes her feel the most comfortable—the most at ease is. Penelope says:

“It used to be Sunday teas at Bridgerton house. It was one of the few places I could go unchaperoned and truly be myself. But it is no longer a possibility.”

Did you hear that? Another crack in poor Pen’s heart. She didn’t just lose a best friend after her falling out with Eloise. She lost her safe place and the family she wished she’d had. The warm congenial Bridgerton home is such a sharp contrast to Pen’s family, where she’s always been treated as an oddity—as less than everyone else. If she’s not being ignored, she’s being criticized. There’s no safe place for her to be herself. Is it any wonder she feels safer writing about the world than living in it?

Colin invites Pen to Bridgerton house while Eloise is away and his remaining siblings are distracted playing cards. Poor Pen is an anxious mess, but Colin tells her she’s comfortable there, so it’s a great place for them to practice. Penelope points out she was previously comfortable there, and of course Clueless Colin doesn’t understand the distinction. Colin says, “We needed a place to be alone.”

Can you hear Pen’s broken heart pounding? How long did she wait for that idiot to say those words to her, and now it’s for all the wrong reasons. Is it bad I want to punch him in the face? He is trying to help her, but I really just want to punch him in the face. He wants them to pretend they are at a ball and for her to practice flirting with him as a pretend suitor. My fist is itching people. Itching. He tells her to say what she wants to without worrying about how he will receive it. This is going to go splendidly. Penelope says:

“Your eyes are the most remarkable shade of blue, yet somehow they shine even brighter when you are kind.”

Note, she doesn’t mention that his mind is bright, or that he is perceptive. Our Penelope is no liar. They hear Eloise returning and it cuts the awkwardness of too much honesty. Pen hides in the study where she can’t help herself from reading Colin’s journal, which has been left conveniently open on a desk. Because I totally believe in a house full of nosy siblings, Colin would leave his journal open for all the naive eyes to read—especially the X-rated bits, because Colin had a hot-boy slutty summer and we are not allowed to forget about it. He comes in, catching her in the act. Pen apologizes and as Colin scrambles to grab the book, he knocks some glass off the desk, and manages to cut himself. Of course, Pen bandages him up, so we’ve got the slow brush of hands to indicate feelings. Pen compliments his writing and practically runs from the room. On her way out, she and Eloise catch sight of each other.

Next, we’re in a Bridgerton carriage ride where Eloise discusses Pen’s visit with Colin. Colin asks if Eloise wants him to cast Penelope out. Say what? Would this jackass actually do that if she said yes? I’m thinking about which eye I want to punch first. Eloise tells him no and says:

“I do not wish her to be friendless, and you might be all she has now.”

Is that a tiny bit of understanding of how hard your former best friend’s life is? You, with your giant loving family, new bestie, financial stability and family status among the ton – do you finally notice her struggle? Then Eloise says, “perhaps just not at the house.” Because your house isn’t the size of a mini mall. Just when I thought there was a Bridgerton on the screen for a second that didn’t make me want to resort to violence. She asks if Penelope is “suffering or despondent” and Colin tells Eloise she isn’t, and we are once again reminded that he is the least perceptive Bridgerton (and that is saying a lot). Pen is walking heartbreak and not a single soul notices.

When Colin tells Eloise that Penelope is looking for a husband and that he’s going to help her, Egocentric Eloise takes it personally. Can she for one damn minute consider Pen’s horrible home life, and how she’s been treated by society and people like Cressida, and realize marriage is Pen’s only escape. Of fucking course not. It’s all about how they’d planned to be spinsters together and now Pen’s trying to find a husband. It’s not about Penelope’s desperation, but Eloise’s betrayal, and I don’t think anything else sums up the problem with their friendship more clearly. Eloise points out that it wouldn’t look right if anyone found out, and Colin says that’s they aren’t telling anyone. And we all know this will totally remain a secret.

We’re at another ball because this is all rich people seem to do. Pen compliments Colin’s writing again. Too bad he doesn’t know those words are coming from a bestselling author, and I’m guessing we have quite a few episodes before he finds that tidbit out. At Colin’s urging, Pen flirts with a Lord and leaves him in tears. This girl flirts the way I do on dating apps. Eloise can’t stop being preoccupied with Penelope, then in true think-of-no-one-but-herself fashion, blurts out to Cressida that Colin is helping Pen find a husband. Because when Colin said they weren’t telling anyone, he clearly didn’t mean bullies in crowded ballrooms.

Pen has a non-disastrous interaction with another Lord who loves gossip and Lady Whistledown. She gives a genuine smile at hearing how much someone else enjoys her writing. He asks to call on her and you can see Pen had a nice boost of self-esteem and a tiny jolt of hope as she tells Colin she enjoyed her conversation with Lord Remington. She is starting to open up a little and feel like maybe she could have a place in this world. Don’t worry, gentle readers, we all know Pen can’t have a moment of happiness last too long. Cue the loud gossip that begins echoing about how unseemly it is for Miss Featherington to get help husband-hunting from oh-so-eligible sexy pants Colin Bridgerton.

And when Clueless Colin asks directly what all these bitches—I mean ladies, are whispering about, they say:

“We were wondering why an eligible gentleman such as yourself would help a spinster find a husband. Especially someone who is beyond hope of success.”

Do you hear that giant crash? It’s Penelope’s cracked heart finally shattering into a million pieces. She makes a fast exit from the ballroom, as people murmur about what Whistledown will write. Colin follows her and Eloise, finally noticing something beyond herself, sees what’s going on and also joins the exodus. Colin asks Eloise if she told anyone his secret and she answers she didn’t mean to, but she told Cressida, and he says he doesn’t understand what Penelope could have done to warrant such maltreatment.

Penelope cries in her carriage ride home and next morning Lady Whistledown’s pamphlets talk about the debacle. Imagine, on top of the pain and humiliation of the evening, in order to keep her identity safe, she has to write about it for the ton. Eloise makes assumptions, then accuses Cressida of being cruel and spreading the secret Eloise told her in confidence. And Cressida, being a much better friend than Eloise, states she never repeated the secret. She noticed Miss Livingston hovering nearby when Eloise indiscreetly burst out the news, then whispering around the ballroom after. Then Cressida becomes the most thoughtful person in this damn episode and gives Eloise the same advice I did in the last post – if she’s worried about cruelty, she should look in the mirror.

Next we come to the saddest moment of oh so many sad moments in this heartbreaking episode. Penelope is sitting at the window, looking utterly devastated (and beautiful), when Portia comes in to ask her if what Lady Whistledown has written is true. When Pen admits it is, Portia asks her how she could be so reckless.

Penelope says, “It was foolish—” and Portia cuts her off. “No, what is foolish is being unreasonable about what you can achieve.”

She goes on to berate her for being stupid enough to think she could find a husband on her third year out. Pen looks so despondent that even Portia notices, and tries to downplay the importance of marriage and how men can cause more trouble than they are worth. (For the record, Mama Featherington ain’t lying.) For a split second, you can see that even Portia feels bad and she starts to reach out her hand to give Pen a comforting touch, but then pulls back and walks out of the room instead. Penelope sits at the window and spends the day crying. It’s a beautiful scene and the perfect snapshot of Pen’s place in the world.

Colin goes to see Pen and bribes the maid to get her outside. You can tell that seeing him is causing her more upset. He says he had to see her, and the subtle shift in Penelope’s face, shows that she appreciates it. They talk about Lady Whistledown and Pen gives Clueless Colin his first clue about her secret identity when she says it would have been suspicious if Lady Whistledown had not written about her. Pen starts a sad monologue about how she brought it on herself and that she’s a sad stupid girl. The devastation she feels is clear in every word. Colin tells her not to say those things and for once I don’t want to hit him.

With nothing left to lose, Penelope asks Colin for a kiss-her first kiss. She makes it clear it won’t mean anything, but she’s resigned herself to being a spinster wallflower, and just wants to know what it’s like to be kissed before she dies. What she doesn’t say (and that we all know and Colin, of course, doesn’t) is she wants to know what it’s like to be kissed by the man she loves—even if he doesn’t love her back. It’s such a sad, painful request, borne of hopelessness. Colin can’t resist the lovely, moonlit, tearful Penelope. He touches her cheek and gives her a soft, quick kiss and it could have ended there—but they lean in for more and the swell of background music tells us there’s more involved here than just lips touching. Pen thanks him and heads back inside. Colin looks like maybe he’s starting to realize that people who are only friends don’t want to shove their tongues down each other’s throats.

This episode had some really moving moments–Pen and Portia’s interaction was one of my favorite from any Bridgerton episode. We had a real look into Penelope’s psyche–all the small moments where you could feel her difficulty in navigating this world she doesn’t fit in—then when she finally has hope that she might find her place, it all crumbles. The subplots were better interspersed than in episode 1, but we still could use less of them. I also don’t think we needed the flash of Colin at the whorehouse. We can get that he’s a flirt without turning him into the historical romance “rake” trope. It didn’t feel authentic for him, and I really wish they’d left it his sexual shenanigans more to our imaginations. I did want to punch him less by the end of the episode, so that was progess.

What did you think about episode 2?
Did you find it as heartbreaking as I did?

recipes

I have been hunting through this cookbook looking for recipes that frankly, didn’t seem insane to attempt. The Seafood Tower had 3 different seafood dishes including: “Roasted Shrimp Cocktail with Marie Rose Sauce”, “Oysters with Champagne and Apple Mignonette”, and “Herby Crab Salad”. Since I’m one person and we’re bougie on a budget over here, I decided to try out the shrimp cocktail since I’m a big fan of shrimp and I had most of the ingredients.

In true Bridgerton fashion, we’ll give these a diamond rating:

Roasted Shrimp Cocktail with Marie Rose Sauce from the Seafood Tower

from Chapter 4: Dinner at the Featherington Ball

Ingredients:

• 2 pounds Extra-Jumbo (16-20 count) shrimp, peeled, deveined and tail on: $2.86 for 5 shrimp
• 2 Tbsp Extra virgin olive oil
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 egg yolk, at room temperature
• 1 Tbsp fresh meyer lemon juice, plus additional to taste (I used regular fresh lemon juice)
• ¼ tsp cayenne pepper
• ¾ cup neutral oil, such as grapeseed oil
• 3 Tbsp ketchup
• 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
• 2-4 dashes hot sauce

Total Cost for purchased ingredients: $2.86

When I first looked at the recipe, it seemed like a basic shrimp cocktail with some kind of fancy mayo. Since I could scale down the shrimp to a smaller portion, this seemed like a great option. I have to say that Shop Rite’s “extra jumbo” shrimp, seem to be a bit well, shrimp-y. I feel like extra-jumbo, should be giant size. But I bought these at the fish counter and everything.

When I started reading, I became suspicious. It tells you to cook the shrimp in a 450-degree oven “until opaque and cooked through, about 10 minutes”. Shrimp cooks ridiculously fast. Maybe I’ve been making them wrong all these years, but that seems like way too high a temperature for anything close to 10 minutes. I’ve made Ina Garten’s Roasted Shrimp Cocktail before and she tells you to cook it for 8-10 minutes at 400. I put my oven at 450, and unsurprisingly, the shrimp were cooked through long before that, at around the 5-minute mark. I didn’t want to see what they’d look like if left them in 10 minutes, so I removed them. Then, there was the sauce. It was super fussy to make and I must have done it wrong because the consistency was very runny and oily. I didn’t attempt to scale it down, but I’m reasonably certain it didn’t turn out as it was supposed to. On the positive, most of the ingredients in the sauce are typical pantry staples.

the verdict

The shrimp itself was fine – it only calls for olive oil, salt and pepper, so nothing extraordinary there. If I’d cooked them for the full 10 minutes, I don’t think they would have been edible. Since I’m assuming some user error in the sauce, I’m only judging it on flavor and not consistency. It tastes like lemony ketchup. The cayenne and hot sauce don’t even register. The spice level definitely needs a boost. The flavor is just not worth the ingredients or effort. Ina Garten’s recipe also comes with a homemade sauce. Use hers instead and save yourself time and money.

Have you ever roasted shrimp?

If so, how long do you cook them for?